Battling against depression…

If I asked myself what are the topic areas that centre around bouts of depression that I have experienced, I would be somewhat spoilt for choice. But I would say that facing down practical outcomes to medical issues comes fairly high on the list. Difficulties with family relationships figure in that list, also; and these were the more prominent issues in earlier decades.

Getting to what might be called a fair and reasonable balance on particular issues that one can face is what I would say is the real problem. Exaggerations or tendencies to deviate therefrom are most definitely to be avoided or, alternatively, patiently worked on. OK, one might be in something of a rut and things may look to be dark, dismal or even postapocalyptic in character; but one must do the due diligence and investigate options for the future, nonetheless.

Writers can experience something of this ilk which tends to get called writer’s block. Winston Churchill had what he called his black dog. But I mustn’t tend to over romanticise this issue. And, indeed, in my case it can be as kitchen-sink in character as the time when my mother beat me in the face with a shoe; and that has been a considerable focus for me in how to evaluate my relationships with my family members.

Indeed my mother and my siblings have been able to extensively disparage me and in some most undignified ways, too.

Another thing to be noted is that in a life experience such as bereavement which bears all the signs of depression, we tend to say of it that it is not a medical condition. I would guess, too, that my overall experiences probably are of that same sort of character.

Nevertheless, grappling with issues and not evading them is a challenge. And I am relatively fortunate in my having the outlet of being able to write about some of them. I suspect this is a bit like the war against disease, for which there is a moral purpose. Losing one’s focus or grip is, after all, an everpresent sort of risk. But it is still possible to do battle.

 

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