In much of these articles on this site, I have endeavoured to describe aspects of coping strategies. QOL is acknowledged to be partly a subjective thing and partly composed of an evaluation of our human needs and partly to be seen in terms of sociometric evaluations.
I have also, in my book, considered a dysfunctional family situation where spurious considerations came into play as to who was fully deserving and who was not; and where some unusual patterns of interaction came into play. It has been part of my role, I think, to introduce a sense of balance and proportion in reviewing family behaviour and patterns thereof that seemed to be rather on the exaggerated scale of things. I may have earlier had other ambitions; but, evidently, they would have been flawed if I had tried to consider that those family interactions were satisfactory in their nature and characterisations.
It is never helpful to play so much at being an ostrich with its head in the sand that it becomes an institutionalised way of coping. Equally, of course, being at such strong variance with many of one’s family members does create high levels of stress.
One interesting sub-issue is what one might call the “weird spectrum”. And there have been all the endeavours to paint both myself and my father as being within such a characterisation. Broadly, I do consider this to be a manifestation of my mother having defended herself in relationship to problematic views by others with regard to her lesbianism. So, from my point of view, the analysis of that aspect turns out to be simple enough.
The total scale of warfare has been horrendous, as I perceive it. And as always it is not unusual for both parties to describe themselves as acting in self-defence. And clearly I do feel some of the corrosiveness rubs off on me, and how could I not feel some sense of ownership of my mother’s attitudes? There is, I feel, a negative impact on my QOL that derives from this.
The fun side of my life still exists. And it has not been impossible for me to assimilate all of the various learning curves in my now seeing things as they are. If I have such a quality as robustness then that is always going to leave me feeling a bit self-conscious in that regard. And indeed I do have to frequently take special consideration of all the weird experiences I have had.
Largely, then, I do manage to feel happy.